Name Upon a Star

[lorimt]

I was looking into those star naming services as a possible gift idea, and have discovered they are pretty much a scam. Moreover, they are a really easy scam. In fact, there is nothing stopping me from starting my own star registration program. I have decided that the phrase "Name Upon a Star" is currently only being used for bad poetry, and so I can steal it, and use it for my own purposes.

What, you may ask, do I have that the other scam artists, I mean business people, out there don't already have? Blatant honesty and no expectation of making money. sithjawa and I have decided to go into business together. We (by which I mostly mean I, sithjawa is just along to be the dignified one...) can offer to name a star for you. This name will have no official meaning whatsoever, and will almost certainly NOT be recognized by the IAU who has the right to name stars. (That is the honesty bit in action, folks) Moreover, although we might copyright your name along with the star, you could do this yourself using the symbol insertion in Microsoft word or your other favorite word processor to copyright whatever you darn well please. In fact, we will probably have a do it yourself option, where you copyright the star yourself, right in the comments section. Also, we'll tell you that if you search around on google, there are some free programs that will let you find "your" star based on its coordinates. (Aren't we generous?)

Anyhow, if you've always wanted a star named after you, or at least a chance to pretend you have a star named after you, here is your chance.

For two cents (We trust you'll pay), you can put your "Name Upon a Star" by leaving comment below with the following information: Your name, the coordinates of a star, and a little copyright symbol.

For something worth more than two cents (food, cash, shiny foil), one of sithjawa or I might be persuaded to do some of this work for you. It seems unlikely. But you can bid for our amusement, if you'd like.

Just think, at these low, low prices, we're by far the best deal on star naming you'll find out there. For our fee plus around ten dollars, you could have a star named after you, and a book about the stars, to help you learn more about the sky. (Assuming you can find said book for about ten dollars.)

Thank you, and good night.

PS: Yes, this does mean I made it home safely. And there is snow! Beautiful, beautiful snow.

Comments

Re: For the record, since it appears to be necessary at this point

[camlost.livejournal.com]

I, JOHUSA Middlebrush, High Judge of the COURT OF SILLY, hereby diisolve the "Name Upon A Star" conglomerate, and donate it to a charity of Steve's choosing.

Re: For the record, since it appears to be necessary at this point

[squirrelloid.livejournal.com]

On account of the appellate judge's inability to be suitably silly, and on noting that the advertisement merely says that those wishing to contribute more than $.02 have the possibility of a positive response, ergo: one of sithjawa or I might be persuaded to do some of this work for you. It seems unlikely. But you can bid for our amusement, if you'd like, i, Baughdvnleob Craic, head judge of the Supreme Court of Silliness, do overturn the appellate court's ruling and allow "Name Upon A Star" to continue its lawful activities. [The implication of the quoted text is that the attempt is valid, but don't expect results]

The incident with the squid has been rereferred to a lower court.